We’ve heard it a million times – “It all starts with you” or “You create everything in your life.”
At times it can feel frustrating to hear these truths, but the good news is more people are understanding them. They are accepting that what I do, say, think, and believe creates everything for me. It is one of the reasons why mindfulness living is moving into the mainstream.
What are boundaries and how do they relate to all of this?
Boundaries help establish clarity by defining what behavior – both from yourself and others - is acceptable. This also defines what is best for you and establishes clarity to focus on your priorities. These boundaries help inform your decisions and what you allow from others.
Establishing boundaries like these work best when used actively for discernment, decision making, manifestation, and attracting respect. Without boundaries, disrespect and manifestation contrary to your goals can more easily enter the picture.
Living life without ‘active’ boundaries communicates: “I don’t respect me.” “I do not feel good enough to follow my feelings, as other people
are better, smarter. I allow others to treat me in negative ways. I allow them to control me. I feel if I do not please others, something bad will happen. “
This is living as a victim. Maybe you aren’t doing what is best for you in each moment, or aren’t communicating your needs with kindness and firmness to others. It is how life can look when you don’t take a stand for your boundaries or take a stand for yourself.
If you are experiencing disrespectful behavior, I invite you to look deeper.
1. Ask the inside of you, in a meditation state, what belief is creating this pattern from childhood/earlier times. It might be something like “people in this life hurt each other” or “I am not valued, important, or worthy” or ”I observed or experienced abuse in childhood, so I formed the belief that this is how it is and I must live with it.”
2. Once you discover what the belief is that you’ve programmed inside of you, take the time to transform and release it. I like to invite the violet fire energy to help accomplish that.
3. Then affirm frequently, “I am a person who is respected. I am valued. I am worthy of respect from myself and others.”
It is important to establish and communicate boundaries for yourself. If a lack of boundaries invites disrespect, then established boundaries are ‘respect in action’ since actions speak louder than words. It is important to create boundaries using the wisdom of your heart. When you decide through that wisdom what is acceptable and most important to you – you express those concepts by living them. Each time you communicate your boundaries and use them for your decisions – you are being an expression of your authentic self.
Once you create boundaries, stick with them. If you decide that you are worthy of respect, for example, begin by no longer beating yourself up. Put your boundaries in motion both with how you treat yourself and how you allow others to treat you. How you treat yourself attracts the same action from others. It is a pivotal way to communicate your boundaries and reinforce that people in your life will treat you with respect. Be consistent. Don’t wobble and allow disrespect in your life from yourself or others. You are a divine spiritual being. You are worthy of respect from yourself and others.
Please remember, you always have choice. It is your choice whether to take a stand. You can establish and live with boundaries that create self-respect and respect from others. And while doing this why not add boundaries that create, joy, peace, balance, and love? Celebrate your boundaries!