August 2008

Put Yourself First!

What is your immediate reaction to the statement “put yourself first”?

 My reaction is, “It sounds selfish.”  Upon further reflection, however, it isn’t selfish.  It’s smart!  Let’s face it, if you do not take care of yourself and put yourself first, who will?

 It is not your purpose or responsibility to take care of others, make decisions for them, tell them what to do, or change them.  That is their responsibility – their life.  Each of us are called upon to take care of our self, change and evolve our self, remember whom we are, and create the highest idea of yourself in each moment.

 Neal Walsh, Conversations with God, writes, “The most loving person is the person who is self centered.”  I am sure this might shock some of you.  However, the reality is that if you cannot love yourself, you cannot truly love another.  Your first relationship must be with yourself! 

Let’s take a closer look at a few practical applications. 

 In a prior career, I used to spend all of my energy on my job - supporting my employees, doing the annual budget, negotiating business, etc.  In the mean time, my personal bills, legal documents, and support system were never considered a priority.  What happened?  Eventually everything started to go awry in the personal department.  I even missed a communication that cost me lots of money!  I realized the hard way, if I don't take care of my self and my life, including pampering me, who will? 

Putting yourself first is the most important job you have.  It includes your health, exercise routine, eating habits, finances, spiritual growth and development, and importantly your relationship with you.  This is first, above all else.  Your family, your friends, and your obligations should always take a back seat to taking care of your life. 

Ouch!  I know that might sound awful.  However, I am not saying family is not important.  They are very important, but not to the point where you put yourself last!  If you are not healthy, energized, and centered, what good are you to your family anyway?

It is not one versus the other.  Putting yourself first does not mean it is all about you.  It means you consciously choose to do what is best for you.  That is not selfish - it is smart! 

It means consciously rescheduling planned time with a friend, when your body is telling you that you need down time.  It means waking up early to create time for a brisk walk, some quiet meditation time with God, or a healthy breakfast, before you start your normal morning routine.  It means taking the time to get to know yourself, listen to your self, and use the wisdom gained in the process as your compass.

Neal Walsh, Conversations with God writes, “The highest choice at any moment is that which produces the highest good for you.”  Why is this so?  When made, the highest good for you becomes the highest good for everyone.  What you do for self, you do for another.

The Celtic Runes state that ‘The starting point for all is the self.’  Its essence is comparable to water.  A correct relationship to your self is primary and from it flows all relationships with others along with the Divine. 

The first counsel written over the temple of Delphi was, “Know thyself.”

I have gone through an evolution in my life from being a doormat to consciously choosing in each moment what is best for me.  I can honestly say that my relationships now are healthier; I am more at ease with others and myself; and people like me for me, even though I put myself first! 

The sacred Hindu text, the Bhagavad Gita says it well in Chapter 6, verse 5, “For the Self is the self’s only friend, and the self is the Self’s only foe.”

Think about it.  What is that you are being and becoming in each moment?  Are you your friend or are you your foe? 

 Think about you.  It’s the healthy choice.

I invite you to honor and love yourself this month by consciously choosing what is best for you each day. 

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